When Progress Is Slow, But You're Still Putting the Work In

It really can be frustrating when you put your time and effort into something that is important to you but don’t see the results of all the hard work. Showing up every day, trying different approaches and just not seeing things move forward as quickly as you hoped they would.

At this stage we can question ourselves about the whole process. Am I doing enough, is there something I’m getting wrong, or even think…..why am I even bothering. At times we can be so consumed on what hasn’t yet happened that we actually lose sight of the progress that has been made! We all like to see obvious signs that what we are doing / trying has something to show for it.

Sometimes Our Thinking Gets in the Way

One of the things we look at in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is how our thoughts influence the way we feel and what our next steps are.

For example, imagine you've been working hard towards something for several months or even years, but just not seeing the results you are so hoping for and expected to have. It can really dent your confidence and raise lots of questions. It can create doubt in your mind about whether you are capable enough to get things to the place you really want them to be. At times we can feel frustrated, disappointed and at these times - it might feel harder to find the grit needed to keep showing up every day and trying our best.

But are we really getting nowhere? Are we really failing to progress, or are we just measuring our progress against the expectations we have given ourselves about where we should be at this stage?

In CBT, we sometimes talk about all or nothing thinking. If we haven’t yet achieved what we were looking to achieve - we can view the whole process as a failure and completely miss the small meaningful bits of progress that we have made.

Progress doesn’t seem to happen in a nice straight line. There can be mountains and valleys along the way - the main thing is that we see don’t neglect to see the actual progress we have made.

Working Hard Doesn't Always Bring Immediate Results

Working hard on something doesn’t guarantee us that we will see the outcome we were hoping for immediately. Sometimes we might need to make adjustments to how we are working, ask for help, or maybe take a short break from it for a bit.

But there's also a danger in giving up on something simply because the results aren't coming as quickly as we'd like. Think about someone who's trying to become more confident in social situations. They will still feel nervous walking into a room full of people, even after weeks of making an effort. From their point of view, they might think nothing has changed. But maybe they are not going to places / events that they would have totally avoided before. Maybe they are hanging around just a little bit longer than before. They might not be totally confident or the life and soul of the party - but they have made progress, and recognising this is huge!

Looking at Progress Differently

As a therapist, I often encourage people to look at the evidence behind their thoughts rather than simply accepting those thoughts a facts. So when we catch ourselves thinking, "I'm getting nowhere," it can be useful to stop and ask a few questions.

What am I basing that conclusion on? Am I only looking at the final result? Have I overlooked things I'm now doing differently? Would I judge someone else quite so harshly if they were making the same effort?

This isn't about trying to convince ourselves that everything is wonderful when it clearly isn't. It's about being fair and realistic in how we assess our own progress. We can acknowledge that we're disappointed with where we are while also recognising that we've made changes, learned things or managed situations differently along the way.

Giving Ourselves a Fair Chance

I wonder how often we compare where we are today with where we hoped we'd be, rather than looking back at where we actually started and how far we have come? It's easy to forget what once felt difficult and has now just gradually become part of our everyday life. Something that took a great deal of effort six months ago might now feel quite normal to us.. Because it now feels normal, we can forget to recognise this as a huge achievement. Perhaps that's one of the difficulties with slow progress. The changes can be so gradual that we don't always notice them happening.

I think sometimes we need to take a look at what we're doing and ask ourselves whether it's really working, or whether we might be better trying something different. But at the same time, I think it's important to recognise the effort we've already put in. Just because things haven't turned out quite as we'd hoped doesn't mean all that time and effort has been wasted.

Maybe the next time we find ourselves thinking, "Why am I not further along?" it would be worth asking something slightly different. How about - "What am I doing now that I wouldn't have managed six months ago?"

The answer might not be everything we'd hoped for, but it might remind us that we're not necessarily standing still. I remember reading something by Bob Goff about the importance of small beginnings, and it's something that's stayed with me. We can be so focused on where we want to end up that we overlook the small steps we're taking to get there. Sometimes those little changes don't seem particularly significant at the time, but gradually they can build into something much bigger.

So let’s celebrate the small steps of progress.